A few observations about SpeedDate.com

My impression

SpeedDate.com is a really interesting site. It’s a little broken, based on the number of “Date ended for unknown reason” - they can’t ALL be hanging up on me on the first second, right? I do hold a solid 7.6 on Hotornot for my non-pro pictures, so I am not that hideous looking.

SpeedDate.com decided to create a very advanced site that functions more like a desktop application, but that also makes it a bit more difficult to use with hefty technical requirements. Take this from a computer expert.

While my gaming rig (P4, 2.8GHz, 3GB RAM, Windows Server 2003 SP2) had no problem with the site, my bedroom laptop (P3, 700MHz, 384 MB RAM, Windows XP Pro SP2) literally choked on their buddy list feature by consuming 100% of my CPU. It didn’t choke on flash, as one would erroneously assume. It choked using Internet Explorer 6, Internet Explorer 7, Firefox 2.0.0.13, and Firefox 3b4 with latest flash on all of them! In other words, no matter what I used, my bedroom computer would essentially die as soon as I logged in and activated the buddy list, which happens automatically upon login.

When it works, however, the site works very nicely. If you setup your audio and video in the flash settings correctly, the other person will be in for a treat. Some webcams come with built-in microphones and you need to know how to select it in flash microphone settings.

The site lets you see your audio performance through its display of blue squares. You will be heard if your blue bar reaches 3/4 of the way at least.

I think it is the way of the future and once the site matures we’ll be having even more fun.

This free site does not censor member-to-member offsite communication. I can actually share my Myspace, Facebook, Yahoo, MSN/Live Messenger, AIM, ICQ, etc. information without having to resort to obnoxious anti-censorship techniques.

How to succeed on SpeedDate.com

You really just need to know a few things. When you are connected, the person’s profile is not always entirely visible on the screen. This is one site where having a long-winded profile may not work to your best advantage. It’s also complicated to see the person’s profile and chat at the same time because the profile is shown as a DIV overlay on top of everything. It’s a case of too much technology and not enough UI expertise.

Put your most valuable information in the top part of the interests section. If you want to highlight that you cook well, for example, put that information near the top. If you say it at the bottom, chances are it won’t be read. It’s hard to both read the profile and chat with the other person in real-time.

Scrolling the screen while attempting to keep up with the conversation can be tricky. Most girls do not have webcams. While the site features a way to send messages to members, that basically adds them to your buddy list and not much else.

Video is a powerful way to make a connection, but really you should make a quick connection using the site and then switch to Skype. Skype makes videochatting painless and setup-free. The on-site chat is… Not up to the par of Userplane’s offerings.

I’ve only run into fewer than 10 girls with a functioning audiofeed and a couple with working webcams. My sample size is over 100 and my current buddy list is about 40 girls globally. That’s pretty good odds. Out of those 40, I would go out with a few if they were local enough. A couple are worth a quick flight.

Attempting to text chat in under 3 minutes is tricky. Get done with pleasantries quickly and take control of the conversation. Ask open-ended questions that require thought. I love to ask “What is your idea of fun?“. It focuses the conversation on her, which is good. She’ll give me enough information to ask a few more related questions. “So, how did you get started playing water polo?” If the answer to the  “What is your idea of fun?” question bores me, I’ll say “Thanks for your time” at about 2:50 on the clock. I do not recommend hanging up on your dates before 3 minutes are up. That really destroys self-esteem and we don’t want to contribute to that problem now, do we?

No censorship is good! Do yourself a favor and get out of their web chat interface as quickly as possible. I strongly recommend Skype for video conversations, but just ask her if she hangs out on other IM networks or has Myspace or Facebook.

The site doesn’t have a lot of users yet, but it has a Facebook application and growing nicely. Expect the numbers of users to increase. Be an early adopter and enjoy!

Flirting

The site features a “flirt” feature. It’s still fairly crude, but more effective than clicking “skip” on your short list of matches. Click on “Members - All members” or “Members - online members”. It’ll be sorted by distance.

You will have the option to ask the girl to add you to her buddy list.

As always, good pictures are key. I think the aspect ratio on this one is either 3:2 or 4:3. I’ll correct this post when I measure that.

Subscription information

If you like this tip, please visit http://www.hotprofiletips.com and subscribe to us through our web feed. We specialize in providing advanced intelligence for the online dating community.

Your comments are most welcome!

The “so what…who cares” approach is key to clarity

So what?!

“I come from a family of 7 children”. You’ve seen garbage information like this in other dating profiles. Information that is irrelevant and doesn’t tell me anything about that person. If that person applied the “So what…who cares” test to her writing, she would ask herself “So what?!”. If the information you wrote does not add to describing the essence of who you are, omit it. In this case, it doesn’t tell me anything useful.

Who cares?

If you can come up with an answer to “So what?!”, then it is time to ask yourself honestly if anyone else will care. If the answer is “maybe”, then omit it. Do I really care how many siblings you have before I’ve even met you? Does it play a role in my decision-making process of whether I should meet you? You are actually introducing risk - not only do I have to wonder about your family, but also about the potential psycho sister who might get jealous.

Grab her attention and hold it!

Your reader’s time is extremely valuable. Any information that you would not use to seduce me really doesn’t belong in your profile. At the very least, not at the top. I want you to grab my attention and hold it without distracting me with extraneous information. Would you start talking about your brothers and sisters at a first date within the first 5 minutes? Somehow I doubt it.

User’s guide to “So what…who cares”

Write the profile. Read it all at once. Read it one paragraph at a time. At the end of the paragraph, ask yourself “So what?!” about the content of that paragraph. If it’s irrelevant, save that paragraph, but remove it from the published document. You can use it in your e-mail exchanges later on if the question comes up. Re-read remaining paragraphs, and at the end of each paragraph ask yourself “Who cares?!”. If the answer is no one, treat them the same. But wait!… It’s not that easy. Now do the same for each remaining sentence. Your objective is to focus your profile to deliver a clear and effective message with minimum of extraneous information. It can be hard to realize that all that hard work composing those sentences was ultimately unnecessary, but that’s the reality of content editing. We write a ton of content, and then we reduce it to just a few paragraphs. Remember, you want to grab his attention and hold it. Adding extra information will only distract her from thinking about you. A good use of this technique should raise your desirability significantly. Please let me know if this helped you.